Episode 2: All I in an Alliance

[Sonja]

Day 5

So it is in the wee wee hours of the first night an I have started picking up the pieces and started to try and make some alliances. I feel like if I don't I am not going to do very well in this game and if for some reason  alliances have already been made- heh - you can't blame an old cat for trying!

It begins with a chat with Tyson where I voiced my concerns about no one discussing the game with me or the temple twist, yadi yada yada, ya blah blee blee blee. I tell him that he has made the biggest impression on me and he is the person that I would most like to be aligned with long term. AND IT'S TRUE! Tyson is the golden boy as far as I am concerned, as in, he is golden with me and he might be into golden showers. Just kidding about that last part, I mean, it could be true, and if it is... that is his life choice and it shouldn't PISS anyone off. GET IT!? PISS ANYONE OFF? (Crickets)

We start comparing notes. Who we like, who would be strong at competitions, etc. Tyson first says that he and Lindsey agreed to watch each others backs. *WHOMP WHOMP* So much for my plan to get rid of her. OK, I can deal with Lindsey... NEXT. I throw Andrea and Marty's names out there. Andrea because after Tyson she is my second favorite. She may be a little scatterbrained and not paying much attention, but her heart is in this game, which is more than can be said about some of these other ding-dongs. Marty was kind of the last pic by default. Malcolm is inactive. Joe is an illiterate fuck. < I stole that from Latrice Royale, but it's true. Chris is nothing more than a red t-shirt... and who ever the fourth person not in the proposed alliance is so forgettable I cant even remember there name so screw them. *Side note I just checked the leaderboard to see who it was and it was SO. How ironic that I used SO's name twice in that sentence. SO FUNNY EH?*

Tyson loves the idea. He is going to talk to Lindsey, I will talk to Andrea.

So I waddle my old ass over to Andrea and offer her a deal. I asked her some of her thoughts and said that I would be open to working with anyone with the exception of Malcolm. Andrea follows that up with 'MALCOLM WOULD MAKE A GOOD NUMBER FOR AN ALLIANCE'

Of all the people you could want to work with on this tribe you are throwing out the person who has done jack shit for this tribe. Brilliant. Where did you find these people? Lol. You must have found them outside of a Lobotomist's office. But anyway, Andrea was on skype so she wasn't really that engaged, but she ended up saying she liked Lindsey and really liked Tyson... so this alliance may come to fruition. Replace Marty with Malcolm, add Marty and Malcolm... whatever. I just want the majority and to be safe. Oh and to get Joe out. And world peace.

[Sonja]

Day 6

I want to dedicate my day 6 confessional to the loss of my beautiful rabbit Black Mamba who died of reasons. She was fine 12 hours before I found her... and I have no idea what happened. It's driving me insane and I cant afford an autopsy. I never thought I would be one of those crazy pet people, but she was my baby. A lot of people are giving me side eye for caring about my rabbit the way people care about dogs. She was potty trained, she licked my face and was very sweet, she never bit me or anyone, she was the best pet I ever had and yesterday was a really sad day for me. I know I may come off like a cunt in my confessional, but the things, pets, people that I am close to are very important to me, so I was really upset. She was almost 5- I only had her for almost 2 years. I was abusing painkillers and anxiety medications so I got the rabbit as a way to focus on staying sober. My rabbit was spoiled rotten and I saved her from someone who was going to release her into the wild in Chicago. She was the best pet I've ever had and I will miss her terribly.

[Sonja]

Now that I can put that behind me... I can talk about my moronic tribe. Lets start with the challenge. It's a demented version of TELEPHONE with ART! It sounds fun on paper, like, it would be funny if we weren't trying to win an immunity idol. It would look like a tragic mess and it would be funny. Since we are competing for safety, it's a nightmare. This tribe is disorganized, fucking lazy, and I hate them all, minus Tyson. I seriously cant help but be frustrated. Not only was Lindsey voted for as the STRONGEST player *What a fucking joke! I am so glad we are really voting based off the characteristics. It makes the game boring. Andrea, Tyson... they showed strength. Lindsey showed she was a fucking lazy swine who kept signing on to bitch about how we were going to lose and then sign off. I know I am on the outs with this tribe. I cant contain my disdain for them. They are a fucking trainwreck, I'm talking Lindsey Lohan trainwreck proportions. Apparently she managed to get us a disadvantage in the competition, which means she probably got a reward at our expense. Great.

Back to the challenge... I spent about 2 1/2 hours making nice looking icons that we can use for this upcoming competition. I'm sorry but their is no contest. Mine look professional and organized. Joe's looks like he fucking took up a Kindergarden Arts and Crafts class and cut them out of a magazine. It looked like a serial killer little girl who would chop the heads off the girls she wanted to kill in highschool. So awful. Lets compare shall we?

Joe's picture

Note the random excess around the picture that could have easily been erased.

Here is one of mine...


Note that it has our tribe color, it's bevel'd, its an icon...

I am not saying I'm some fucking photoshop expert but it looks 20 x better than the fucking floating heads Joe did. It reminds me of the scene from Goosebumps THE HAUNTED MASK when the masks come alive and start floating and chasing Carly Beth through out town. 

Some cheap ass CGI.

So once the challenge gets going... The background and logo looks great. Someone decided to use those fucking airheads instead of quickly re-sizing the images I did. It would have taken 2 mins to resize each and another 4 to post those pictures in a way that they were not only even, but in columns, or at least close to looking in order. Whomever did the pictures, MARTY, should be shot for using those faces to make a lopsided scrotum. That is what it looks like. When the picture got to me I immediately messaged everyone that it looks like shit. I am at a point that I would rather be voted off then deal with people that are not really playing the game. They are making alliances and ignoring the challenge aspect... A good player has to do both. This tribe doesn't do both. That is why Lindsey was voted for the Strongest player. I'm sorry to sound whiny (hosts and prediction writers) I am just frustrated that I am putting so much effort into this game and it is going to be for nothing. I know this tribe does not like me and because I know this, it's hard for me to pretend I like them back.  Host you are doing amazing, this cast- not so much. 

[Sonja]

I must say that now that it's done- even though the perfectionist in me wants to kill Marty- it looks pretty frickin good considering the shit-storm leading up to it. Tyson finished it off perfectly and it looks pretty good- but I don't know if it is enough to win. I was proven wrong last time, so I hope I can be proven wrong again.


One thing I had forgot to mention about the challenge was two things that came out of different peoples mouths.


'I suck at photoshop'


So did Joe and he still put some freaking effort into it. Even if I personally didn't like it, he at least tried to do something. ME? GIVING JOE A COMPLIMENT? HA. You must be thinking I'm delirious. Marty, Lindsey, Andrea... all spewed the I suck at painting bullshit like it gave them a free pass not to try at the challenges. Apply yourself, lazy cows.


'Someone tell me when to go and what to do'

Are you kidding me? REALLY!? LOL. Basically you expect to not do nothing, have someone pull your weight, and get away with it. I think Andrea said it and it made a nuke go off in my brain. I think a lot of people write off the challenges when it comes to gains. I think it's a big fuck you to the host, creator, etc when you don't attempt the challenges. They work hard to bring you a game to play, at least show some freaking effort back.

Tyson has to think I am a raging cunt, because I vent all of my frustrations to him. I cant help that I take pride in what I do and I do care about working hard and doing the challenges. I am also heavily social. Anytime a host accepts me into the game I take it as a role, think of it as auditioning. You apply, the hosts like you, they give you a part. When you are set to perform on opening night do actors half ass their way through the dialogue and nap during scenes? NO. I am here to entertain and put forth the effort that the host has, to the best of my ability. 

This is why I hate this tribe.

Also I have no idea if this alliance is really going anywhere. The tribe seems to have decided they didn't like the sexual grandma jokes and now I'm marked to go either after the inactives or HELL before the inactives.

I will be bothered if I leave before So or Malcolm. So has been MIA for going on 48 hours and Malcolm's time zone makes things really wonky for him, but he could have reached the host to do this challenge. No excuses.

[Sonja]

Todd is a chihuahua, all bark and no bite. I posted a snide/truth statement about how that tribe pretty much stole the hosts work and tried to pawn it off as there own.



Suck it bitches, yeah, at least this isn't what we are sucking all day. A breathalyzer. Ziiiiiing.

I think I got a few good digs in, compared to him calling me an old woman and saying that my posts are only making them stronger... If telling the judges who are scoring your pic to SUCK IT BITCHES and taking images that the hosts made is you being 'strong' keep up the good work it will only keep me away from tribal council.

I seriously wouldn't have put Todd in his place if he wouldn't have went for the name calling. A truly refined player says mean things in their confessional. A player who wants to shit talk should probably come up with some material first. My zings were 20,000x better than his. That is why after my second bitch slap to his head he gave up and posted that lame THESE POSTS WILL MAKE US STRONGER bull shit. Keep telling yourself that Kelly Clarkson.

[Sonja]

Day 7

We won the challenge! Just barely, but still, after I had seen the flag that the other tribe had produced I felt pretty confident that we had in the bag (prior to seeing their flag I was shitting bricks). SUCK IT BITCHES is what gave me that confidence because A) How Original, B) You are being critiqued by judges, unless they are some S&M tell it to me daddy kind of person, they aren't going to appreciate being told to suck it. C) Those random smiley faces in the corner looked like it came from an emoticons catalog from 1992. Least to say that after they decided to defend themselves and start a turf war with me- they looked like fucking idiots. WE WILL TRY HARDER. Is there like a copy of the Little Engine That Could at their camp as someones luxury item? We all know that I have nil faith in my tribe, which means that other tribe has to be an abortion.

I really do hope that this team can keep this momentum up and hopefully we can keep on winning. I know that a tribe switch is definitely on the horizon for sooner or later. I am going to hope it's later rather than sooner.

[Cochran]

I love you <3

[Sonja]

Day 8

Absolutely nothing happened what so ever- Corrine was voted off and not a single person lost any sleep.