Episode 3: So This Should Be Easy, Right?

[Sonja]

Day 9

Going into the live immunity challenge I kind of get the sense that this tribe is passed the honey moon phase and stumbling into the complacent boring areas. Our tribe has nothing to talk about anymore. We have won the first 2 challenges, people are getting a little testier, myself included. The tribe made yet another stupid decision by choosing Joe for ingenuity. Joe. The one who posted the equivalent of macaroni art for images in the last challenge. Half of the tribe didn't even know what the word meant, which, God bless there souls, they will probably grow up to be part-time employees at Walmart. Their is clearly an alliance of sorts going on that does not involve me. Joe and Lindsey are clearly aligned as I have pointed out before and I'm assuming it probably involves Marty, Tyson, and Andrea. That would explain why no one engages me in strategy talk or did anything with the alliance I tried to start. Wuyi hates me because I told Todd off, so I am not in the best spot in this game. I cant help that I am 27 and my personality doesn't mesh with high schoolers and first year college students. The age gap is very wide and that makes me want to hang myself at 30. THAT would take some ingenuity, finding a rope and a way to hang my fat ass!


Everyone keeps asking WHO IS SITTING OUT? Why ask rhetorical questions? Look, we have Malcolm who keeps throwing out the I AM FROM THE UK card, so he is pretty much needed to sit out of everything. Which frankly, isn't an excuse. If you live in the UK why the fuck would you join a game that you are never going to have a matching schedule with? If you are from another country and choosing to play its on YOU to make it work for the game. It's not our fault and nor should you be given a free pass. Next we have SO WHAT. Queen inactivity. She hasn't been on more than 1 time since the first immunity challenge. I am hoping if we lose that her inactivity overshadows this tribes disdain for me. Probably not. They have about the IQ of a casaba melon between the 8 of them (excluding Tyson and maybe Andrea)

[Sonja]

So we lost the immunity challenge and you want to know why we lost? Remember what I said about the IQ of a Casaba Melon... This tribe cost us the challenge due to their fucking impatience. We found all of the numbers with the exception of number 3. Instead of, IDK, trying to find it... Tyson suggests that we post 1 and 2, wait for them to post #3 and then we will post 4-5-6-7 as quickly as possible. This tribe couldn't organize a line in front of a drinking fountain let alone 4 posts in a timely matter. I knew we were going to be fucked, but instead of opening my fat trap and looking like the negative cunt the tribe thinks I am, I let the car wreck proceed. Let me preface this by saying, out of the entire tribe, Andrea, Lindsey, Myself and Marty were the only players to find anything. Tyson, smart, but fucking lazy, decided he would post a thread with all the images we found and their locations. Gee, that must have been fucking difficult. Lazy as fucking fuck fuck. He just didn't want to look for anything and it made him look like he was doing anything.


I now take back all of my comments defending Tyson and his intelligence. He lost us the challenge. As soon as number 2 was posted in the thread, Sierra posts ALL of the numbers in one big post. Instead of the tribe reacting and posting 4-7 due to the fact Sierra could only post 1 number, sat there and started questioning each other, instead of reacting. I had to start yelling at people. POST 4, POST 5, POST 6, GO GO GO.... Instead the tribe collectively sat there with there thumbs firmly stuck up there ass. DOES THAT COUNT, WHAT DO WE DO? Fml. Actually, No, fuck there lives. Idiots.


We managed to lose by 1 point due to this tribes inability to work as a team.


What happened next was even more frustrating than losing and the tribe should be forced to go to a double tribal for acting like assholes.

[Sonja]

IT'S NOT FAIR. UGH. THEY CHEATED. THEY EDITED. EVERY GAME I'VE PLAYED EDITING IS NEVER ALLOWED.


The above are all phrases that came out of my tribes mouth as soon as we lost. It was mostly Andrea, Chris, Lindsey, and Marty. I too jumped in on the editing- but not all is what it seems, trust. I messaged the host an apology on behalf of our tribe. I don't have a pot to piss in so far in this game, so if Lindsey and Andrea want to bitch about fairness, I will give them both proverbial blowjobs. Get me a dental dam and I am ready to go!  I had my chapstick ready and was kissing ass all over the place. Prison Bitch Sonja at your service. 


Me with Lindsey- OH LINDSEY THIS IS BOGUS, UGH! *Smooches ass*
Me with Andrea- MAN THIS SUCKS ASS, THIS ISN'T RIGHT! *Reapplys and kisses again*


I need them to think I agree with everything they say. I am in no position to defy the she-bitches of my tribe.


On the other end of the spectrum we had Chris and Marty bitching about shit that didn't make any sense.


MARTY: BUT LINDSEY POSTED 7, LINDSEY POSTED 7 FIRST!!!!!!! (Wow Marty, how very observant of you, it wasn't like the host didn't acknowledge that Lindsey scored 7 for us.)
CHRIS: WE WERE FIRST, SIERRA EDITED AFTER US, SIERRA EDITED AFTER WE POSTED! (Oh really? You must be Helen Keller's long lost child, because it clearly shows that Sierra edited before the next person posted. Fucking Mensa member you are not)


Tyson was quick to point out the logic, which I would have had I been in a better position, it just goes to show where the two of us are in this game.

[Sonja]

Day 10


It is the day of our first tribal council and I kind of feel half OK, half paranoid. SO WHAT should be the first person voted off of our tribe for the following reasons
1. She is as useful as a limp noodle.
2. She has done jack shit for our tribe in the challenges.
3. She sat out, so she has to compete in the next challenge, and I highly doubt she will show up, and even if she did she is utterly useless.


I thought it would be overwhelmingly So. Tyson, Marty, and even my new pal Malcolm (more on that below) have all said that her name is the only one they heard. There happened to be an exception in Andrea. She wants Joe out. Jackpot. Andrea spilled a lot of T to me. I am really glad that she did, because everyone has been strategically constipated with me, so it was refreshing, even if her logic was kind of moronic. Andrea would rather vote off Joe, than So. Oh look, an unintentional rhyme, How Dr. Seuss of me. She thinks we can get the votes, until she speaks to Malcolm and he says he thinks it would be too soon, and put a big target on us. Um, if we had the majority... who cares? Also, Malcolm is probably in the same boat as I am, THE FUCKED EXPRESS, so he should be trying to make any move that he can.


Through my conversation with Andrea- I think I have figured out what is really going on in this tribe.


Joe- Lindsey- Chris- Marty- Tyson = the alliance of 5 that is controlling this tribe. Joe and Lindsey getting the most votes isn't a coincidence. Marty and Chris are always looking to Lindsey for advice. Tyson mentioned that he trusted Lindsey the most besides me... I am going to encourage Andrea's paranoia of being on the outside and her mouth for saying she wanted Joe out. If people think she is trying to target the majority alliance, that moves me up 1 space up on the tribe chopping block list. I am now worried though. Trusting Tyson might have been a mistake... but what he doesn't know, can only help me, right?


I let Andrea know that I trust her 1000000 percent. I need any ally that I can get, so I have attached her to my hip. We are velcro'd together. Meaning that we look very close, but in reality I can detach from her at any time I deem fit. 

[Sonja]

I started spazzing out like a paranoid tweeker. I seriously need to work on being a little more cool calm and collected. I messaged Tyson to ask if everything was still succinct as far as Tribal Council was concerned, but this was followed by literally five minutes of 'Tyson Apostol is typing' STOP 'Tyson Apostol is typing' STOP. He kept typing, deleting, typing, deleting. So I assumed this was Tyson about to tell me I was leaving and he was trying to word it properly, so I just posted 'Hey if it's me, it's no big, I won't lose any sleep' just to see if he would tell me. This was followed by yet another 10 minutes of 'Tyson Apostol is typing' DELETING TYPING ETC.

I tell Andrea that it looks like my goose is cooked and she starts freaking out... Tyson messages me that he lives in the boonies and he gets poor cell reception, he is home, and I am not going anywhere. Why would you think that?

I should have been like, sorry, I take adderall to stay focused and it makes me skitz out. That would have been believable.... right?

Ugh. SO is on AIM. Just die you worthless hag. You have done jack shit. Just die peacefully. You are unworthy of this game and you owe it to the hosts to just lay your torch down peacefully with this vote. But seriously, she has done nothing. She has sat out. Did nothing for the second challenge... So So couldn't even be used to describe her. If she put as much effort into being inactive as she did interest in this game she would be a Super Star.

She sucks.

[Sonja]

That little twunt voted for me. I don't think she came to that decision on her own. Whatever. She is gone. Off to waste space somewhere else.

[Sonja]

Something that I learned today- the biggest shocker ever- JOE WANTS ME OUT. If only he knew Andrea also wants him out and Joe... Unfortunately he seems to have a bunch of little retard minions clinging to his ball sack like a Koala to a Eucalyptus tree such as Lindsey and possibly Chris. Lindsey and Joe are so creative, a World Apart alliance, how magically unheard of. Let me guess So was also a member until she totally went inactoid on your asses? 

Andrea, Me, Tyson... need to come together an take control of this tribe. Tyson sees what I have been kind of warning him about Lindsey... he thinks he can pull in Marty. Andrea said that she hated Chris and Joe. Chris really is a moron, Andrea asked him about where he was from? He could have told her anywhere. I'm from Uganda and I sell chastity belts so I don't get raped- or- I'm from Honolulu, I lei people all day when they get off the plane. Instead he decides to say 'I KNOW WHAT YOUR TRYING TO DO AND IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK'

How fucking Glib. So based on his IQ level, he probably is holding hands with DIP AND SHIT (My new name for Lindsey and Joe). He would be the hyphen between Dip-shit because he is that unimportant. The only thing worse than being Lindsey or Joe- is WANTING to be Lindsey or Joe.

Something has got to give or shift on this tribe... An alliance of no-brains controlling the future of this tribe- it makes my vagina ache just thinking about it. Well, Sonja's vagina. I have a penis. YOU GET THE POINT.